By Sandy Ciupak

Special to The Gazette

When Ruth Crane of Granger Township found a swollen lymph node under her left arm in late December 2007, her doctors weren’t overly concerned.

She was only 37, she had no family history of breast cancer, and she was still nursing her third son, Gavin.

She was advised to wait.

Six weeks later, the lymph node was still swollen. An ultrasound ordered by her OB/GYN showed a mass in her left breast, but the test was inconclusive. The doctor chose to treat her for a possible infection and follow up with further testing in two weeks if there was no improvement.

Crane sensed that something more was wrong. She scheduled an appointment with a surgeon, whose biopsy of the mass confirmed her fears.

She had breast cancer.

Not a victim

Crane is a wife, a mom, an active volunteer at school and at church, and now she became something else: a cancer patient. She and her family — husband Travis, 36; sons Ryan, 9, and Benjamin, 7, along with Gavin, now 18 months old — were about to begin a journey that no family wants to take.
What Crane isn’t is a cancer victim. She’s not even comfortable with the term “cancer survivor.”

“I prefer to be thought of as an ‘overcomer,’” said Crane, who finished radiation treatments Oct. 9. She said other diseases don’t seem to merit the “survivor” nomenclature — why give cancer any special treatment?

“I want to be thought of as someone who ‘overcame’ cancer —who used to have cancer.”

Crane’s outlook, like her prognosis, is optimistic. Chemotherapy shrank the tumor “to nothing,” a double mastectomy means a recurrence is highly unlikely, and follow-up radiation was done to zap any stray cells.

What’s amazing about Crane’s journey is that she had barely started it when she decided to help other women going through the same thing.

Shortly after beginning chemotherapy, she came up with the idea for “Ears to You,” a project that collects earrings to give away to women going through chemotherapy at the Cleveland Clinic. So far, more than 1,000 pairs have been collected and shared.

Focusing on others is just one way Crane has deflected some of the fears and worries that can accompany a cancer diagnosis.

When asked for more advice that might help other women battling cancer, Crane has several suggestions:

“Get a sense from the beginning of how much information you’re comfortable with,” she said. “If you’re the type of person who wants to read everything, go ahead and do that.

“But if you only want as much information as you need, that’s OK, too,” she added. She quickly determined her own “need to know” limits and was honest about letting others know if they stepped over those boundaries.

She also recommends accepting help.

“Be honest with yourself and your needs — and be honest in letting others help meet those needs,” she said. “People want to help.”

Positive attitude

While it was sometimes hard to admit that she needed the extra help, Crane looks back at the outpouring of care from friends, extended family, neighbors and PTO/PTA colleagues and is still overwhelmed. Care packages, gifts, meals, housecleaning, a night out at “Super Suppers” — all helped as she strived to maintain a positive attitude.

But staying positive in the middle of cancer treatment wasn’t always easy.

“It takes work!” she said, smiling. Nagging thoughts constantly threatened to bring her spirits down, but she tried hard to push them away.

“The mind is so powerful,” Crane said. “Use it to help the medicine do its work.”

Distractions were another way of keeping her mind occupied.
And what better distraction than a toddler?

“God knew what he was doing when he gave me Gavin,” said Crane, adding that having to meet the immediate needs of a small child helps take her mind off of herself.

Encouraging messages on her Web site at CaringBridge.org have lifted her spirits as well. CaringBridge is a nonprofit organization that provides websites free of charge to anyone going through a serious illness. Journal and photo postings help Crane keep friends and family updated on her progress, and the site’s guest book allows visitors to leave encouraging notes for her.

Crane’s faith also has helped her through the rough patches.
“Knowing that God was there, that he was going to support me, gave me strength.”

Her church family at Holy Martyrs Catholic Church in Medina has provided spiritual support and also rallied for donations to “Ears to You.” Crane recently picked up a bag full of earrings that were donated at the church.

She admits she can still become overwhelmed by the feelings that hit her the first day she found out.

“It is scary. It’s a scary diagnosis,” Crane said.

But she is encouraged by the growing openness surrounding cancer.

“It’s OK to tell people,” she said, adding that sometimes you discover that someone else has been through the same thing.
She believes women sharing their stories with each other “can help others face a similar diagnosis with a little more confidence — from the beginning — and not have so much fear and uncertainty.”

Ciupak may be reached at accent@ohio.net.