July 25, 2016

Partly cloudy

Extolling the virtues of the little-appreciated bucket

I give you: The five-gallon bucket. Put your stuff in, then you can truck it.

That’s the beauty of it, the charm, The necessity for home and farm.

Oh, the Bucket of the Big Shoulders! King of all the handy holders!

Best of all, they’re practically free — Which is quite an impressive mpg.

You may find them discarded and lost, Salvaged for little or no cost.

There! In the ditch! One fell from a truck. Some guy’s misfortune is your good luck.

Empty of pickles or drywall compound, Their useful uses usefully abound.

Here’s what you might call a “bucket list.” Do tell me if there’s something I missed.

Use one to water new plants and trees, Drill a small hole to dribble by degrees.

It’s a pail for kitchen compost — Rinds, peels, egg shells and burnt toast.

Mix up mortar, cement and plaster. Your mom has ideas. Just ask her.

Toss in weeds as you pull them out. I forgot to mention mixing grout.

Holds fish after you’ve caught ’em. Upside down, a seat for your bottom.

Flip one over for a stepping stool. (Just please be careful. Don’t be a fool.)

With a lid, it’ll keep birdseed dry, Same for your kindling supply.

Good for washing the truck or car. Makes any job easier by far.

Use it to carry tools to a project. Also, any walnuts you collect.

Pick green beans, corn and a tomater. Store that potting soil for later.

Get a ladder and clean the gutter. Do it for your father and mutter.

Tote your horse its water, its feed — And just about anything else you need.

Grab it and carry in firewood. That’ll warm you up pretty good.

As a cheap cooler, it works real nice Brimming with beverages and ice.

Stow shoes, boots, anything you’ve got, Gloves, toys, plastic bags and whatnot.

Put under the sink to catch a leak. (Just be sure to empty once a week.)

For trash or recyclables, it’s stellar. Same for bailing water from a cellar.

They make fine sawhorses in a pinch. Go on. Use ’em hard. They won’t flinch.

Clean up prior to mowing the lawn — Leaves, sticks, whatever falls thereon.

Before washing, soak dirty clothes, Likewise for dirty feet and toes.

An emergency chamber pot? Some may try this, but not a lot.

In spring, pick morels in the wood — Which, fried in butter, taste very good.

Lift a table or chair while painting Works just as well if you’re staining.

A five-gallon bucket is essential — When empty, it’s full of potential.

And now there’s only one thing I lack: I gave you the bucket. Give it back.

Contact John Gladden at gladden@frontier.com or on Twitter @thatjohngladden.